Jiah Khan's Suicide Note..

Jiah's letter to Suraj Pancholi..

"I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday.

These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you.

I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore.

When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this.

I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you.

So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you to feel how you make me feel constantly.

No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood. Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens o hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car.

Or disrespects their family. You never even met my sister. I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me.

I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten days and you didn’t bother buying me something.

The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your birthday special. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want in life is partying, your women and your selfish motives.

All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you.

I dreamt of our future. I dreamt f our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this.”

                                        REVIEW FROM AUTHOR..

As I dived through her soul reading the every word she wrote.. I felt the storm which she underwent..
It was a horrible experience for me.. Frankly speaking.. Main toh dar gaya..!!
Shaayad mujhe yaad aa gaya jo mere saath hua tha..
Theek isi tarah Jiah.. main andhere main kho gaya tha..
These people will love you.. will use you.. then leave you without any valid reason..
They will never know how it goes on us.. They will live happily..

Yeh Pyaar main kyu hota hai... Yeh Pyaar main kyu hota hai...

Kyu kisiko dua ke badle dua nahi milti..
Kyu kisiko hasi ke badle hasi nahi milti..
Kyu kisiko wafa ke badle wqafa nahi milti..

Yeh Pyaar main kyu hota hai... Yeh Pyaar main kyu hota hai...

Actually I would also blame all those people.. same as Suraj Pancholi.. who did exist in her life by some na some role.. (e.g. Family, Friends, Acquaintances..)
Ek Ladki ka depression tum logo ko uske suicide ke baad hi pataah chala..?
Aur ab hamdardi jataah rahe ho..?
Kya hota agar uski dil ki baat jaankar us gehraai tak uski Taqleefain samajh lete..?
Jiah ne theek kiya.. as by her perspection.. lekin Suraj tune bahot bada Gunaah kiya hai..
Fir se usne Ladkon ka Image kharaab kar di hai..
Ek ladki ki zindagi barbaad karna kya hota hai woh tujhe tab hi pataah chalega jab teri ek beti hogi aur use koi tujh jaisa mil ke woh karega jo tune kiya hai..
And as by Law.. tu sala bada Aadmi hai.. you won't get a deserved punishment legally..
But still one day.. you would find yourself in that dark place where you threw a Girl who loved you more than her world..

And Ms. Jiah Khan.. I won't say you : R.I.P... rest in peace..
Cause I want you to come back soon here with more beautiful life and fulfill your wish.. those sweet imaginations which you left behind..
But please let me add you.. Never ever do such thing again..
Love is the most difficult game to play with..
Yaha har jagah dhokha hai.. kadam kadam pe Buraayiaa hai..
Sambhaal ke chalna..
Aisa haath na pakadna jo andhere main ghoom ho jaaye..

And dear BOYS and GIRLS..
Sab tarah ke Mazaak chalega.. par kabhi Pyaar ka mazaak nahi karna kisi ke saath..
Duniyaa main bahot saari cheeze hai.. bahot saare khilone hai.. is Dil ko toh chhod do..
Don't ruin anybody's life only just for your selfish means..
It really hurts.. it really does..

Once again Jiah.. you made us cry.. Stupid.. :'(
23 saal ho gaye mujhe.. lekin tujhsi Ladki nahi dekhi..
I salute you.. Mmmuuuaaahhh.... :-*

REFERENCE..

Sumiet23

A reason to smile..

Aww.. so sad.. your story would melt a granite.. still it's a heart..
God has done a great injustice with you..
Nobody did judged you right..
It looks bad to see your eyes flooding tremendously..
How surprising it is to watch a destiny rusting which had a golden past at a time.

You know.. it's simple sure to misunderstand a person..
Hmmm.. let be.. they and their wish.. we can't force anybody.. we can't shut their mouth.. we can't stop them from their will.
Knowing of you.. one old song is humming on my lips..
"Duniya main kitna gum hai.. mera gum kitna kum hai..
Logo ka gum dekha toh.. main apna gum bhool gaya.."

Would you listen now what am I saying ?

I want to show you how much happiness you owe right now.
Just see na.. there are people who are physically impaired.. like.. some are blind.. or deaf.. one can't speak and the other has lost his leg in an accident..
Some are resting helplessly on bed.. while plenty are losing their mental ability by some na some tragedies..
Some look real ugly.. some are drowned in addiction..
Many are illiterate.. struggling in the blazing sun for just a small sum..
There are people living in dowry since ages.. generation to generation..
Here everybody has their own grieves.. but some conquers them.. while others become slaves.

And see yourself.. you have plently of things for which you should be grateful and happy..

Kya hua jo kisi ne yeh Dil tod diya.. use haq hai woh tujhe pyar kare ya na kare..
Common now yaar.. just cheer up.. Life is too short to waste it sobbing..
There are many many things which are waiting for you.. just look around.. there are countless of things which could please your heart.. healing it slow and steady..

Get up.. stand erect.. stretch your hands.. view this lovely nature.. mix with the people who are really interesting in their own way..
Look yourself in mirror.. mess your hair.. take your shirt out.. notice the beauty on your face.. listen to your favourite music.. shake your body and dance on the song.. "Apna har din jiyo jaise ke aakhri ho.. jiyo toh har pal aise jiyo.. jaise ke aakhri ho.."

Hop in your car.. speed it up with a long drive.. hang out with your friends.. make new acquaintances.. wave your hand to a person.. even if you don't know.. start some white mischief.. feel back those childhood days.. eat your charming dishes.. sing songs with your deep heart.. lift that small baby and kiss it on lips.. hug those lovely pets.. start seeking for needy ones.. help them at your best.. do think that always there is a person somewhere who needs you..
Make others smile.. it will make you too.
Involve in sports.. Games.. or whatever you like.. read comics.. magazines.. boost your IQ.
Wear new outfits.. change your get ups.. ready yourself.. make yourself beautiful.. Grab some nice postures and have some awesome clicks.. these memories will never end..
Get indulged in your career.. make your parents to be proud of you.. show your skills.. arts.. talents.. yeah.. you have something in your body.. just wake it up..
Seize your dreams.. make them come true..
Laugh out loud.. from your belly.. even for small jokes.. yes.. you have the right..Enjoy the every moment.. don't let your mind to think a second of your past bad events.. just forget them.. only remember the happiness.. nothing else.. never drop yourself to low.. no.. start loving yourself.. love them who want..
Don't be bad.. but also don't be over good..
Just forget what happened back.. look ahead.. start a new life..  forgive them.. they still don't know where they have mistook.. let be.. it's their lookout..
Find the right path for you.. grab the opportunities.. big or small.. but they are worth..

Yaad rakh.. naraaz nahi rehne ka kabhi.. you wouldn't be able to do a single thing being depressed..
Listen.. always do remember.. In this each & every while.. there is a reason to smile..

                                                         Mandy  

Ek Deewana sa..

Ek ladka tha Deewanasa.. Ek Ladki pe woh marta tha..
Din raat aur 24 ghante.. Usi ke baare main sochta tha..

Dil toh us ka alag hi tha.. Jis main sabhi ke liye pyaar tha..
Bina kisi swaarth ke jo Apnaapan.. us ka jeena hi ek aadarsh tha..

Aansoo toh usne bahot bahaaye.. Par tha aankhon main hasee laaye..
Sab ko woh pal main jaan leta.. Lekin uske jazbaat kisi ko samajh na aaye..

Kisi se woh kuchh nahi chaahta tha.. Sirf sab ko use khush dekhna tha..
Aur koi toh use duniya main apna kahe.. Bas yeh hi ek Dua maangta tha..

Nafrat thi use har buraayion se.. Naraj tha sab ke bewafaaion se..
Joh kehta woh toh wahi karta.. Fir bhi Dhokha mila use achhaaion se..

Har Ladki uske paas aati.. Palak jhapakte pyaar main kho jaati..
Par Badnaseebi yeh thi uski.. Ke har Ladki use Khilona samajhti..

Ek Ladki thi us ki Jaan.. Jise samajhta tha woh Bhagwaan..
Par woh kuchh aisa kar gayi.. Dil ke badle le gayi Jaan..

Sach main woh toh tha ek Ajeeb sa.. Pehchaan pana usko tha namunkeen sa..
Na Jaane kaha se aaya tha.. Par tha toh woh Ek Deewana sa..

                            Mandy

येह पाप तोह सभी करते है..

येह पाप तोह सभी करते है.. कर के फिर सीने मे दफनाते है..
जब करने से कुच्छ नही लगता.. तो क्यू केहने से शरमाते है..?

येह पाप तोह सबको पता है.. पर क्यू हर कोई मासूम दिखता है..
इस दिल के बदले मे क्यू.. हर कोई जीस्म का सौदा माँगता है..?

येह पाप तोह सभी पे छाया है.. बचपन से ही इसने सताया है..
यारो.. इसी के पेट मे से तोह.. यहाँ हर एक ईन्सान आया है..

येह पाप के तोह है सारे काम.. कोई होता महान तो कोई बद्नाम..
शादी के बाद जो होता है प्यार.. वही क्यू शादी से पेहले है हराम..?

येह पाप तोह सबसे झूठा है.. जाने कितनो को इसने लूटा है..
सौ बार खाने के बाद भी.. क्यू येह जेहेर मीठा है..?

येह पाप तोह खुषनसीब है.. देखो ना कैसे सब के करीब है..
यहाँ अमीरजादों को सब माफ.. और गुन्हेगार सिर्फ गरीब है..

येह पाप ही तोह रीश्ते बनाता है.. सजाके फिर तोड भी देता है..
कभी अच्छा लगता है बुरा.. तोह कभी अच्छा भी बुरा बन जाता है..

येह पाप तोह एक नशा है.. जिसे चढी उसकी दुर्दशा है..
पर क्यू लोगों के लिये जन्नत.. और मेरे लिये आँसू हमेशा है..?

येह पाप तोह हम दोनो ने किया.. लेकिन उसने जहाँ से छुपाया.. और मैने बताया..
येह पाप तोह सभी करते है.. पर, हाय रब्बा कोई तोह बता दो.. मै ही अकेला क्यू पापी बन गया..??

                                           Sumiet23
This was written in the remembrance of Manu..

नादानी का नशा...

1) नादानी का नशा सबसे गेहरा होता है..
It never descends before the "Time" slaps you hard.

2) जब गलती समझ मे आती है.. तब तक बहोत देर हो चूकी होती है..
But okay.. accept your faults.. and mind forever to not repeat them again.

3) You can't force anybody for anything.. cause none among all the relations here gives you that much rights..
Instead force yourself to be what you want to.

4) A Problem never makes you collapse.. but the way you face it makes.
Don't panic.. nothing will change without your reaction.

5) When a person loves you.. then yes.. it's your responsibility to return it..
But holla..!! Your burden is lightened when the same doesn't need you at all..

6) It's not good to leave a person who loves you.. but it's okay when the same one leaves you..
Don't sob.. you have no blames on you..

7) Say sorry.. feel sorry.. even for nothing.. it will change everything..
But also be aware.. The word "sorry" will only work for first few times..

8) Nobody can hurt anybody emotionally..
It's only your heart which hurts you memorizing those abused feelings.

9) Don't get low if nobody is willing to hold your hand..
You know na.. you have two hands..?
Hold them each other tightly.. nobody can then separate.

10) Observe this nature.. and you will be notified by some rules and discipline.. which you don't have.

11) Mourning for the past is like crying for the Dead..
You have only two options.. either die with the Dead.. or live for what is still alive.

12) Nobody can survive a person who wants to die..

13) People dump them more who already are..
So get up and try for the next play.

14) You are not a loser untill and unless you stop your attempts.

15) Attach only to that thing which will lead you higher.. and not to that which will take you in a Hell.

16) The Past is lost.. the Future is yet to gain..
You are living in present.. so learn to live in it.

17) See yourself being not you.. and you will know who are you..

18) It's a total Idiocy to beg others for your own life.. ain't it..?

19) Don't depend on others in your sorrow.. they will kick you.
Nobody wants to hug the Grief.

20) The one who stays same at the best and the worst.. is the only one who can conquer everything..

21) Everybody will love you.. but first.. be the worth for it..

22) If nothing is changing.. change your mind..

23) You would wander helplessly until you set your goals.

24) It's the Destiny who decides how you take birth.. and it's you who decide how to die..

25) Even if you get exactly what you want.. still you won't get it how much you want.. means forever..
It's impossible.. everything is vanishing simultaneously.
For example.. - You can't stick to your Lover's body day and night for years.. right na..?

26) I am the person who lost his everything, leaving nothing.. and I am the same who got everything in nothing..

                                      Sumiet23
These are those words which Sumiet got to hear in the deep silence..