Jiah Khan's Suicide Note..

Jiah's letter to Suraj Pancholi..

"I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday.

These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you.

I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore.

When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this.

I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you.

So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you to feel how you make me feel constantly.

No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood. Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens o hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car.

Or disrespects their family. You never even met my sister. I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me.

I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten days and you didn’t bother buying me something.

The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your birthday special. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want in life is partying, your women and your selfish motives.

All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you.

I dreamt of our future. I dreamt f our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this.”

                                        REVIEW FROM AUTHOR..

As I dived through her soul reading the every word she wrote.. I felt the storm which she underwent..
It was a horrible experience for me.. Frankly speaking.. Main toh dar gaya..!!
Shaayad mujhe yaad aa gaya jo mere saath hua tha..
Theek isi tarah Jiah.. main andhere main kho gaya tha..
These people will love you.. will use you.. then leave you without any valid reason..
They will never know how it goes on us.. They will live happily..

Yeh Pyaar main kyu hota hai... Yeh Pyaar main kyu hota hai...

Kyu kisiko dua ke badle dua nahi milti..
Kyu kisiko hasi ke badle hasi nahi milti..
Kyu kisiko wafa ke badle wqafa nahi milti..

Yeh Pyaar main kyu hota hai... Yeh Pyaar main kyu hota hai...

Actually I would also blame all those people.. same as Suraj Pancholi.. who did exist in her life by some na some role.. (e.g. Family, Friends, Acquaintances..)
Ek Ladki ka depression tum logo ko uske suicide ke baad hi pataah chala..?
Aur ab hamdardi jataah rahe ho..?
Kya hota agar uski dil ki baat jaankar us gehraai tak uski Taqleefain samajh lete..?
Jiah ne theek kiya.. as by her perspection.. lekin Suraj tune bahot bada Gunaah kiya hai..
Fir se usne Ladkon ka Image kharaab kar di hai..
Ek ladki ki zindagi barbaad karna kya hota hai woh tujhe tab hi pataah chalega jab teri ek beti hogi aur use koi tujh jaisa mil ke woh karega jo tune kiya hai..
And as by Law.. tu sala bada Aadmi hai.. you won't get a deserved punishment legally..
But still one day.. you would find yourself in that dark place where you threw a Girl who loved you more than her world..

And Ms. Jiah Khan.. I won't say you : R.I.P... rest in peace..
Cause I want you to come back soon here with more beautiful life and fulfill your wish.. those sweet imaginations which you left behind..
But please let me add you.. Never ever do such thing again..
Love is the most difficult game to play with..
Yaha har jagah dhokha hai.. kadam kadam pe Buraayiaa hai..
Sambhaal ke chalna..
Aisa haath na pakadna jo andhere main ghoom ho jaaye..

And dear BOYS and GIRLS..
Sab tarah ke Mazaak chalega.. par kabhi Pyaar ka mazaak nahi karna kisi ke saath..
Duniyaa main bahot saari cheeze hai.. bahot saare khilone hai.. is Dil ko toh chhod do..
Don't ruin anybody's life only just for your selfish means..
It really hurts.. it really does..

Once again Jiah.. you made us cry.. Stupid.. :'(
23 saal ho gaye mujhe.. lekin tujhsi Ladki nahi dekhi..
I salute you.. Mmmuuuaaahhh.... :-*

REFERENCE..

Sumiet23